H is for: How did I already blow the challenge?

I think those of you doing the A-Z Challenge are already on the letter H. I don't know what happened last week, but I blew it. I have been trying to come up with some good excuses as to why I was not able to type out a few sentences every day, but the truth of the matter is, I'm just lazy.

A is for Asterisk

As a public service, I'd like to remind eveyone that it is pronounced asterisk, not asterix. *

* These statements have not been approved by the FDA.

Baseball Season

Yesterday while I was getting some lunch (at a restaurant which I shall not name in an effort to make you more curious) there was a TV tuned to ESPN. They were showing a pre-season baseball game between the Yankees and Braves. All the fans in the stands were so excited for Spring and baseball season to start. They looked so happy. I could never be one of them.

I'm a red blooded American, but what's up with baseball? There is a combined total of 30 seconds of actual action that takes place over the course of the game. The rest of the time involves a bunch of guys hanging out in the dugout, standing around, spitting, and scratching.

I will stop before I offend more people, but I just don't get it and I can't wait until baseball season is over.

WARNING

This blog has been put on probation by the blog police. We noticed that it's lazy author has not posted since December. Until Captain Mystery comes up with a somewhat decent or amusing post, he is being placed on probation and blogger leave without pay. We may also end up revealing his identity if he doesn't get his act together. We apologize to those who read or follow this blog. We assume you are either little children or your browser is broken and you are unable to go to any other websites.

Corn Nuts

I was recently given a bag of corn nuts by a friend. I made the mistake of eating them. I haven't consumed this particular snack for over 20 years so I forgot how rock hard they are on your teeth. I would have to rank them right up their as having the same impact that chewing ice, walnut shells, and golf balls have on your teeth. I hope I didn't ruin my crowns. I think they would serve a better purpose as survival food than snacks.

The Red Stapler

I have a coworker who has a bright red stapler. It reminds me of the red telephone in the White House that is connected directly to the Kremlin. I'm guessing they still have a direct line to other world powers. I guess it would be a real blow to Russia's self esteem if that phone no longer exists because we started using it for China. Anyway, I think red staplers should only be used  in cases of emergency for stapling the most important of documents.

The Ultimate Humiliation

Occasionally I will be listening to the radio in my car and a song starts up with a catchy beat. I turn it up the volume and start enjoying it for a few seconds before I realize that the lyrics are actually promoting some kind of product. Yes, I am the dummy who gets duped into enjoying a song that is actually a commercial. I just hope I'm not the only one this has happened to.